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gayyy's LiveJournal:
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| Wednesday, November 30th, 2005 | | 1:48 pm |
 OMGGGG LOOK AT ME HERE!!!! Rissa took this while we were waiting for a shoot. Its crazy what they can do to a person  I'll always just be the friend TREE LIGHTING TONIGHT! I can't wait! | | Sunday, November 20th, 2005 | | 3:13 am |
blubberrrr
I'll fight ya!  Hahhahha ohhh kateee your hair is changed again hahhah | | Wednesday, November 16th, 2005 | | 3:03 am |
Impefections are what makes life worth living but sometimes I wish life could be easy :( I got hair extentions put in for my shoot today. They were fun! I love having people do my hair and makeup just sometimes they do it really ugly and I just want to tell them how I want it to be. THANKSGIVING IS SOON! I CAN'T WAIT!!!! TURKEEYYY DAYY!!!! PS: sean is going to nikki beach with me tomorrow! YAY FOR NOT BEING A SNOBBY NYU BOY AND GOING OUT WITH ME!!! Its weird we hung out more when we were further apart. I love living with my cousin even if he does bring home random girls all the time who give me dirty looks for no good reason. I just love the uptown its simply beautiful, I love watching the old ladys with their big hats and bags there so cute The girl whose here right now with my cousin does coke, when my cousin went to go pick up the diverly food she did a line of it right in front of me people are so weird this girl whose part of my agency was really mean to me today she said "who do you think you are paris hilton?, because you'll never be her your not even that pretty, i don't know why your here." and I was like "thats really mean to say, and i never said i was her and i don't think i am that pretty" and she told me that my eyes make me look like and alien and my bodies disporationate.That I would probably need plastic surgey to make me look better. Idk I mean she was really pretty so i couldnt say she was ugly back bc that would be lieing but it really hurt. Idk I tried to act like it didn't bother me, but I'd be lying if i said it didn't maybe I shouldn't be trying thing modeling thing, I think I am fooling myself :( | | Tuesday, November 15th, 2005 | | 8:43 pm |
looverrrrr boyyyy
 Real Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder  I want choo  I wonder if everyone sees what I see  Ouch that hurt I am in a crazy mood . I partied with Jesscia Abla and her boyfriend last week and she's such a sweetie and so beautiful in person she told me that I was so much fun and that my eyes are whats going to help me win the industry. Hmmmm lets see I went to Justin Timberlake and Camoron Dias Halloween party which was loads of fun and ummmm I went to Nikki Hiltons birthday party which was also crazy. But I've been partying to much latly which is cool I am really glad i am starting to hang out with more people in the business I just miss hanging out with sean and stuff back in ct at the beach. The city is so fast almost too fast to stop and think to your self. However, I have VIP at Nikki beach on thursday so I hope some fun people go I think we got like four beds!! yay! Ps: I danced with Usher the otehr night :) aka my life was made complete. Okay so maybe nyc life isn't that bad its just I have to remember why I am here. Current Mood:  bouncyCurrent Music: 50 cent-In da club | | Friday, October 28th, 2005 | | 2:51 am |
I learned a cute joke, what did the volcano say to the other volcano??? I LAVA YOU!  excuse me miss but theres cheese on your face hahaha  I love smiling, smilings my favorite  ah poop my skin is really broken out right now, I must have been alergic to the make up they put on my face. That shows tomorrow, i hope my face clears up, that would suck alot if it didnt and i was ekky. Current Mood:  chipper | | Monday, October 24th, 2005 | | 10:31 pm |
I am glad I have my own internet now. I moved in with my cousin yesterday, I am much happier here. He's a bit of a crazy but he's fun to live with, plus I like the upper east side better, its prutttyyy. His home smells like boy, its silly. But I went shopping with him and my aunty today it was fun, I got a really cute shirt from armani exchange and a pretty bag from coach. yippie! I hearrtt you New York :) :) ummmm i have a practice for a show thats on friday tommorw.. | | Sunday, October 23rd, 2005 | | 2:24 pm |
I love steve, he's cute <3 I miss him :P | | Thursday, October 20th, 2005 | | 4:16 am |
I moved to manhattan, I've been getting alot of jobs latly, doing alot of run ways. They like that I have long legs. the modeling world if tough tho, everyone is out to stab you in the back. your best friend would trip you so you can break your nose and theyd get the job if they had the chance. Everyone throws there food up, everyone snorts coke. I tried coke twice since I've been here this was a while ago though. my self estem is at its lowest. Its weird how you can here your beautiful, your look so great in this, but then that one little thing of rejection eats you alive and you feel so ugly about yourself. I am scared I am not strong enough for this business. i go out alot now, I drink and party alot now, I go to clubs all the time. I don't sleep at all. I started smoking ew I hate smoking how could I smoke. No one wants to kiss a smoker. Which is probably why I dont have a boyfriend. I can't I am too lanky, my eyes are too big, I am a werido, no one understands my sillinesss everyone is serious. My friends here are gay boys, who all do coke to stay skinny and praise every bit of hollywood. If I have to see lindsay lohen one more time or here about how kate moss is a god I think I'll have to throw up. this sounds like I miserable. But I am not. I am just trying to find myself, my place, the right people. Ill be there soon, I just hope I can stay strong.  Nyc, your the blood in my veins, your the smell before rain.  Oh kate, your so silly haha | | Monday, August 15th, 2005 | | 1:00 am |
I am so busy, I forgot my name
I wish I could look like kendra from girls next door, I think shes beautiful. I just took at bunch of test shots this week. It was alright I guess, they want to sign me out in california, idk, I have time to think :/ its nothing big and doesn't mean I'll get anywhere but will see. I still wish I looked like Kendra. Current Mood: busy | | Monday, August 8th, 2005 | | 2:19 pm |
I took a whole bunch of pictures of me after some modeling thing i had to do and this is how weird they made me look hahahahah ( Read more... ) | | Sunday, August 7th, 2005 | | 3:02 pm |
| | Thursday, August 4th, 2005 | | 8:30 pm |
what an emo girl
ever see someone from your past and just want to curl up and cry? I felt like that today. I saw Robbie and I instantly felt sick.I thought I'd be okay seeing him now, i guess not. Anyways, sean and kyle both asked me to hang out with them tonight. Seeing that they would both get mad at me. I told them that I didn't feel good. Honestly, I don't, I need sleep so it wasn't a complete lie. I am going to bed now... and I am dreading monday. I wonder if I've ever affected someones life the way they have mine? Current Mood:  sleepy | | Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005 | | 9:20 am |
...
oh man, I feel like I was hit by a bus. I can't remember shit from last night. Just throwing up... alot. I woke up on my bathroom floor with my hair soaken wet shirving bc of the stupid air. I guess Joe stayed up with me all night bc he was afraid I had alcohol poisoning he told me he kept pouring water over my head to keep me consious or something. He had his blanket and pillow in the bathroom so he could make sure I didn't die. I love Joe <3 He's really a great brother. Even if it was him telling me to do more shots and invited me to the party. I love that he stayed with me. I just took a shower, and I can't fall back to sleep, I hurt. I have to go to darien with Joe later, once he wakes up. I hope i didn't do anything stupid last night, I really do. I guess at like two chris, kenny, stef and megan were here and me and chris had a who could drink the most shots in 20 secs and then i passed out. ahhh i shouldn't do this to myself. Drinking isnt even fun, its stupid. I hate me for doing that last night, I really do. I am a light weight and I drank enough for like 20 light weights i am really lucky nothing happened to me and really lucky I have a brother who cares about me. And really lucky my mom didn't find out. well I am going to lie down and try and feel like a normal person again. never invite me to a party thanks Current Mood:  nauseated | | 1:34 am |
i need to delete this i need to also throw up alot i need to nefver drink again i need to go to bed good night | | Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005 | | 12:26 am |
So bored
this is the result of me being bored. I start taking photos of myself with inatmate objects  hahaha my butt crack!  At least cheweys still my friend <3 gahhh I am so beastly hahaha I need a life. Kyle just left, Me and Joe just fought. ALl in like ten minutes heheheh meep. | | 12:04 am |
This is going to sound weird but I want to have mind blowing sex. hahaha I really do. I've never had mind blowing sex, like I want to have movie sex. Not uhh turn around so i can put my clothes back on sex. Or aqkward we shouldn't have done that sex. Or sympathy or fight or first time sex. but like hot movie sex with a really hot guy that I love and Loves me back. and this entry makes me sound stupid but its truth. I want someone to love me :) I need to get laid its been a while hahahahah I am a dork :-P Current Mood:  crazy | | Sunday, July 31st, 2005 | | 2:22 pm |
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH! thats how I feel right now. I am so busy it hurts, I am over tired, I miss my friends, I miss my life, I miss sleep, I miss everything. I have been in to the city, out of the city, back in to the city, to just staying in the city, to this office to that office, to this person, to this person, to this photographer, to this photographer. I caan't take it. I don't want to do it anymore. i never wanted to really, I just did it for fun and now my aunts made it my life. its only been like a week of it and I am just to big of a baby. I don't want this. I don't know how to tell her that. ahhh i want sleep. Forget my diet shit, i keep eating and eating and i still weight 98 pounds, i am 5'7'' you should weight that much and be that height. gahhh. I am such a loser, theres girls that would kill to do this and i would kill not too. I go to an office and they say, you have to do this with your hair, you have to work out this part of your body, we can work with this but you have to do this. I DONT FUCKEN CARE! I have low enough self estem as it is already, you dont have to remind me. I miss sean he has a summer love and he's busy with her every time i come home. So i've been hanging out with kyle, which is fun because he's a great kid, he's been there for me latly and I need that. I need people to tell me that everything is going to be okay. And that life has its ups and downs and that this isn't a down. I guess I am just back into my mood again. When I great depressed about everything. it'll blow over, it will. I miss having loads of friends who care about me. Now I just have a few. I drive everyone I've ever met away and the only ones that stay are the ones that wont let me drive them away. the ones who know me and how I am and all the horriable shit I've been through. And how once I get close I push you as far away as you can get. And then if you come back to me then I never let you go. I wish I could just not push people away. Be kate to them for ever. Buit Idk I just do it. I hate it. I hate me for it. I lost so many good people bc I am like that. This is why I am single, bc no understands me. I don't understand me. I am lost cause. I need to grow up, I need to get over things. I need relize that shit happens in lfe and i cna't spend my whole life thinking about all the bad things that have happened to me. I think its bc almost the day karly died, i get like this every year. Pictures ( Read more... ) Current Mood:  discontent | | Wednesday, July 27th, 2005 | | 11:34 am |
I met anna wintour the editor of vogue!! She's friends with my aunts sister and we all went out to dinner with her! She's getting me all these cast calls in the city!!! One being CK and I did a shoot for an H&M catolog and yep now i am in and out of the city for all these big modeling things its alot of fun! I am on a new diet so I don't gain alot of weight and can't do these shoots | | Thursday, July 21st, 2005 | | 11:52 pm |
California was amazing!!!! Omggg I had so much fun. From manhattan beach staying at my uncles and hanging out with Bre and her gorgous friends <3 and Then from santa barbra and getting to surf and hang out with stacey, kristen, kelley, micheal and the whole gang. To getting in the fight with that girl bc she was talking shit about me and bobbert and sliping on the curb on the way to the car and bleeding hahaha hospital favors??? hahah it was so much fun. everything and everyone! I drank i think every night which is sad hahah but oh god was it fun :D I love summer <333 I loved waking up with out a care and we slept out on the beach one day there was like 12 of us and it was amazzing <3 I just had so much fun. OMG! TONIGHT! The moon is amazing, so I made sean walk down to the beach with me and honestly it was amazing. We stood just stood there and aww it was like something from a movie. He told me he was sorry about everything and never meant to hurt me and that he loved me more then everyone in his life. And I started to cry of course. Overly emotional kate, I think I should change my name too but it was a beautiful molment and I just wanted to stay there forever. I love sean, I really do. He’s the best friend I could ever ask for. And it all just paned out the way it did bc he cares about me. <3333 Modeling thinger in the city, leaving tomorrow, seans coming with me. Staying at pats. Well I g2g seans staying over tonight and I ditched him and hes jhanging out with joe I gotta stop this nonsense | | 3:16 am |
Holy tater tots I am tired. I am at the airport right now. I just talked to my daddy. Apparently, I have a modeling thing in the city on saturday, so he asked if i just wanted to stay in new york until monday. But honestly, i want to go home and sleep in my bed. I won't sleep on the plane bc i am horrified and Idk I guess I could stay in new york but i'd have to call Pat soon and ask? Its funny how mom and dad trust Pat with me and no one else. Probably because he rooms with two of the gayest guys ever. But dad says that if I wanted he'd get a hotel room for me to stay in or he'd come pick me up today and drive me back tomorrow on his way to work. Anyways, I am going to miss california!!!! I'll update more on that when I get home. which i guess i just decided to go home, sleep, drop my stuff off, pack all my NEW CLOTHES THAT I BOUGHT!!! OMG THERE AMAZING!!!! Have sean come and visit me and maybe he can come with me into the city?? Will see. :p Ps: Please don't crash plane. k thanks! Current Mood:  anxious |
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